As of January 15th, I have been in Ecuador for 5 months. So much has happened that sometimes it feels like it's been a lot longer. I am grateful for my family who have welcomed me into their house for the past 3 months. I will give a brief story of that. In October (or probably before) I started to feel unhappy in my family because I felt very lonely. I don't want to go into too much detail because I don't like to think about it. It made it a little better talking to friends here and friends back at home via Facebook and Skype. It made me feel not so quite alone. The best and worst day was leaving my family and changing. It was the worst cause I was sad and didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do and felt guilty. It was the best because I knew that I would have a fresh start with a new family that was caring and loving to me. I feel now I can talk to my family better and be more of a part of it. Everyone is so caring and open. It feels great.
At the beginning of this year, I felt like I was having a lot of deja vu. Like things that happened were so similar (or the same) as things that happened at home in the past. Also friends reminding me of friend at home. I started to think of them as the Ecuadorian version. When I told a friend at home about these feelings, they said it was kind of normal because you miss the people who are close to you when you go away for a long time. The weirdest one that I wish wasn't deja vu was changing families. When my family hosted a girl a few years ago, we had our differences (a few problems, okay more than a few but that's beside the point). And when I was unhappy during the beginning of my stay here in Ecuador, I felt like it was the same things happening again. So basically, deja vu is not fun at all. Now I feel like my luck has changed. I have a family that cares and is loving and welcoming of me into their home. That was 3 months ago but it feels long that that (sometimes).
Enough of that stuff. Let's see. Wow. I am at the halfway point. I am not the same person as when I left 5 months ago but then again, who doesn't change (at least a little bit) in 5 months. I have become a little more confident in my Spanish ability and I watch all the movies in Spanish that I have watched previously in English and understand most of what they are saying. Writing in Spanish is pretty easy but dictation is still hard in class cause it's hard to know how to write the words without seeing them. I ask people to slow down a lot less than when I first got here. I don't think I have asked in a while which shows I am understanding more. I was very proud of myself the other day for writing 14 pages in my travel journal in Spanish. I feel like that when summer vacation comes in about 5 weeks, my time in Ecuador will feel like no time at all. I don't want to think about leaving because that means saying goodbye and goodbye means forgetting. Oh wait. Scratch that. I will never forget this experience (the good memories and the bad ones).It's not something I will be able to replicate either no matter how hard I try. I read a quote once that said,
''Exchange isn't a year in your life. It is your life in a year.''
I don't know who first said this quote, but it is 100% true. Although there are many years in your life, an exchange year isn't one of them. Weird right. On the calendar, yes but by all other view points, no. When you go on exchange, it is your life in a year. Since coming here, I have learned so much and changed (of course, but then again who doesn't in 5 and a half months). I probably can't see all of them but I'm sure that other people around me can. I have learned to stay (at least try my absolute best) strong even when it's hard and to not give up. I had a pretty opened mind/guts (in my opinion. I mean, you kind of have to have one to even decide to take this amazing journey/risk and live in a new country and culture and language for a year away from your family and friends) and it has opened up even more. With all the new things here and people and food and culture and well everything, it's amazing. I am definitely going to appreciate the small things I used to take for granted back home; like a dishwasher and dryer. At least doing the dishes by hand and using a clothes line helps the environment some.
I feel like after school ends, I only have a small amount of time left in Ecuador. Okay, maybe I should look at it as glass half full. I am halfway through and have experienced so many new things plus learning/speaking Spanish all the time. If I have made it this far, I can make it until June. I am going to try and cherish every day that I have left in this place as much as I can. Here's to the next 4 plus months!!!
Chao!
